|Callan on Pride
||[Dec. 10th, 2006|10:33 pm]
Callan blows me away once again:|
Whatever you are proud, you get more of that.
If you are proud of correcting your children, telling them how they got it wrong, you get more opportunities to do that.
If you are proud of encouraging your children, telling them how they are getting it right, you get more opporunities to do that.
As they say, read the whole thing.
2006-12-11 03:07 pm (UTC)
A college friend of mine once participated in an experiment wherein everyone was something called derogatory. I think her label was "stupid". She says that after awhile of putting up with being called that she found herself wanting to act the part (i.e., deliberately do 'stupid' things) as a sort of compensation for being put down like that.
2006-12-11 11:36 pm (UTC)
Re: somewhat related....
I'm Callan, who wrote the piece.
And when I was a kid, my family nickname was "stupid"
Finally, when I was 13, it became "supid, oh the shrink told us not to call you that."
The expectations laid on us create our environment. And what choice do we have but to be proud of how we manage that environment?
"You wanna see stupid, I'll show you stupid. . . "
Thanks for sharing -- this reminds me also that 'where I put my attention' leads me to 'what I see'. The example I use in teaching is 'My husband is human. So there's plenty of evidence, if I want to look for it, that he can be sloppy, thoughtless, insensitive, and otherwise "bad". But do I want to see myself in a marriage with 'that kind of man'? The fact is that he's also a deeply caring person who does an awful lot to make my life better, who listens when I need an ear, holds on tight when I need a shoulder, and can be wonderfully sweet. If I choose to look for it, THAT's what I get to see.'
I like this idea that 'pride' can be another way of focus.